|Photo by: Kathleen O'Leary|
Music elicits a variety of passions within its listeners. Some might cause one to do more genial things--directing an Oscar-winning film, for instance--while others might drive folks to violence against his or her arch-nemesis.
And then there's the act of driving really, really fast.
Imagine this: you're in your car, which quite inconveniently does not possess cruise control. You're driving down a lonesome two-lane highway, not another car in sight (take, for instance, the Appalachian Highway right outside Athens). A song comes on, one with a chugging tempo, erratic guitar work, pounding drums--you name it. You press the gas pedal further and further to the floor, your mind lost in the cacophony, unaware of the sights around you aside from the open road ahead.
Of course, you happen to miss the highway patrol cop sitting in the median, though he/she certainly doesn't miss you. Ticket, 20 m.p.h. over the limit.
Try not to have that happen.
But let's say, in theory, that it did. Here's 10 songs that might have been in your playlist on that fateful, expensive day.
1. "Wait So Long" by Trampled By Turtles
The reason I created such a playlist in the first place. This song is for those who've ever wondered what would happen if you gave thrash metal musicians bluegrass instruments. The Duluth six-piece just seems to go faster and faster here, which will probably have a similar effect on your car's speed. Approach with caution.
2. "Heavy Cross" by Gossip
Here's a tune for you dance rock junkies. "Heavy Cross" starts off innocently enough, but once frontwoman Beth Ditto cries "I checked you!", watch out. Nathan Howdeshell's guitar lines are downright dirty, erratic, disjointed, and are played at a tempo unfit for ordinary drivers' consumption.
3. "Land of the F(r)ee" by Larry and His Flask
Let's take another step into the bluegrass world--this time, with some added punk influences. Oregon's Larry and His Flask break out this sub-two-minute song often, and it's easy to see why at live shows. The song propels along at breakneck speed, just as you might be once you're finished listening. And then, perhaps unfortunately, you'll want to play this addicting tune all over again. Take a quick look around, and push that 'previous' button on your radio dash. It's OK. Maybe.
4. "B.o.B." by Outkast
This is the song you're listening to speeding through Atlanta--or so I assume, judging by what I know from the city. Wait, scratch that--this is you weaving through Atlanta traffic. With spitfire rhymes from Andre 3000 and Big Boi, it's easy to imagine if you try. Dayum!
5. "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons
Fun fact: the only time I've ever been pulled over for speeding, I was listening to this song. Wondering why? Listen to the tempo change at 1:05. Oh, and I missed the sign that said 'Reduced Speed Ahead.' Oops.
OK, this song is a bit different than the others on this list, but I include it basically because I feel like a badass when I listen to it, and I think badasses tend to speed, or something like that.
7. "Low Tide" by O'Death
Hey, look, more bluegrass instrumentation. Wow, Kevin, can you get more predictable? Seriously, this is my last one on that front. "Low Tide" is the epitome of that song you don't want to be listening to driving down a back country road on which you've never been in the middle of the night.
8. "Captain Morgan's Revenge" by Alestorm
My detractors might have cried "Foul!" had I not included some sort of metal on this list, so here you go. Just imagine you're sailing the Seven Seas and Commodore Norrington's all like, "Whoa, slow down, you're going too fast!" and you're like, "SCREW YOU, I'M A PIRATE!" I can only imagine that's how it went back in the day.
9. "Straight A's" by Sleigh Bells
The most scatterbrained of Sleigh Bells' discography. Just listen to that riff and underlying beat. Do I really need to explain why this minute-and-a-half brutal attack is on this list?
10. "White Limo" by Foo Fighters
I don't know what Dave Grohl was smoking the day he decided to throw this brilliant-yet-off-kilter song on the otherwise '90s-flavored Wasting Light, but I hope he has more of it. We might not all be driving limos while listening to this, but replace 'limo' with your car's name, and it's as if Grohl is inciting you to drive faster. "GOOOOOOOOO, GIOOOOOOOOOOOO!" All right!
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